Tertulia

On Friday there's going to be a writers gathering.
My writing teacher signed me up to present two poems in front of an audience without my knowing!
I'm so scared, I've never done this before, and I'm even more scared of the chance that people won;t like my writing!
He told me that there are people there that write horrible, and that I'm better than I think, so that makes me feel better.
I hope everything turns out good.
So now I wonder which pieces I should present....

Empezar.

Black clouded my world.

A lingering spirit gently

pulled me in.

There was a lingering commotion

Beyond my state,

Floating further and further afar,

I suddenly heard her whisper.

It echoed throughout the Universe.

The first words that gave life.

Like a goddess, let there be light,

like the Winter breeze,

a voice that hands chills.

It was all just a dream.

"Sam, despiertate."

-Sam Visu



Today

Last slice.

I don't really know what to write tonight. I guess too many events happened today that made me feel like the last piece of pie that every one is reluctant to eat. Maybe that's a good thing, it might mean that people care for each other too much to deny them of that pie (or it might just be courtesy at times), but in turn, it also means that I will never be the piece that someone will die for. Nobody dies for pie.

"Who wants the last piece?"- Grace
"I'm full, no thanks,"- Tony
"You can have it, Pete,"- Mary
"I'm okay, you should eat up,"- Pete
"No, I think I'll just feed Bobby then. Everybody sure they don't want any more?"- Mary
Heads shook the room.
"Here baby, eat some of auntie's yummy pie!"- Mary
"Agghhhhh"- Bobby

I was thrown in the bin.

-Sam Visu

Doctor.

My mom took me to the doctor's office today,
I just felt sick with a backache, and that was all.
The result of going was fatal.
She told me that I'm overweight,
That I also needed to go to a psychiatrist.

What else could she have said to send me back into my hole?
I was fine, the depression was going away.
My bulimia was gone.
A trip to the doctors office was all I needed to be shoved back in.
I thought I was going to be okay.
Reality is unloving.

-Visu

Fears.

A list of my fears:

                                           

To never reach my life goals.

                                                  Being abandoned.

                To be alone.

                                                           Monotonous days.

                                     Abuse.

                                                                                     Growing Old

                         Not changing the world.

                                                                      To not be able to express myself.

Fear itself.

                                Lonely Saturday nights.

            To be let down.

                                                         Waking up in the morning.

Not being loved back.
                                                                                  Staying overweight.

                                           To be a failure.

-Visu

50's event at Ummagumma Pub.

And they asked me to pose for them!

xD

I think I look alright though haha.

Tip.

These moments alone, I will never forget.
Letters with a tablespoon of coffee and cigarettes,
a teaspoon of distant jazz,
and a hint of unheard conversations.
Each bite is a fruitful desert,
And when all is gone, I once again anticipate rain.

Check please?

-Sam Visu

I want to paint today.

I hope I can anyways.

Gentle Lady, Do Not Sing




Gentle lady, do not sing 
Sad songs about the end of love; 
Lay aside sadness and sing 
How love that passes is enough. 

Sing about the long deep sleep 
Of lovers that are dead, and how 
In the grave all love shall sleep: 
Love is aweary now.


-James Joyce




I love this poem and the message it gives to us. 
Love is not entirely over, but you can remember it, and be thankful that it happened. 
Even after the event of love, it still lingers in your air.

Hula.

¿Cuántos giros necesito para retroceder al mundo grandotote de mi niñez?

Elegí la soledad, esa tristeza masoquista en la melancolía de la música. Sobre mi cama llorando letras. Nadie me entendió.

No me dejaron salir y disfrutar escalofríos y adrenalina del aire libre con mis compas, probando la pinche amarga ebriedad.

Esa persona de mis sueños me ignoró, y me disfracé de chica perfecta solo para que su cara se volteara a mi dirección.

Hice una maravilla en mi salón para que mis papás fueran felices conmigo. Para mí, sería mucho.

Camine por la tienda con mis papis por esos pasillos enormes llenas de cosas. Llore, y me tire por ese juguete ¡que quería! ¡Yo lo quería! Pero mis papis me dijeron que no. Nunca me hacen caso de nada.

Erase una vez, no me dejaron jugar con esto. Pero, aquí en mis manos tengo la imaginación, libertad, testarudez. No hare berrinche.
Y ya no cargo sobre mí la fuerza oscura que me detenga de lo que siento.
Como niña de luz del sol.

Jugare.
Girare.


-Sam Visu