Conclusion

Hay limites cuando hablamos del sufrimiento, tenemos tanto heredado que nacimos muertos. Vemos mediante cosas dichas, cosas dadas porque nacimos con nuestras manos y pies atadas esperando el destino que nos guie y hacer lo que necesitamos hacer por nosotros, pasando cada día como los muertos que somos, viendo todo pasar por nuestro espacio, el mecanismo en que existimos lo llamamos cuerpo, algunos no lo somos, estamos pegados al suelo, incapaces ignorantes del acertijo de que no somos dios, de que hay cosas mas allá del cuerpo y la consciencia. Somos mas de lo que fuimos si vemos dentro del portal en que nada es materia, pero únicamente luz de lo que Es, y lo que siempre Sera, no importa cuando tiempo pase. Somos luz, persiguiendo luz,

El destino es nuestro pasado, futuro, nuestros años tumultuosos caminando y desgastando nuestras rodillas mientras cabello y uña crecen con cada segundo, nunca capaces de controlarlo.

-Sam Visu

Transparent.

I sit by you on the bus and sit still looking out the window. You think that I'm avoiding you, getting away, but you have no idea what I see when I look through that transparent television.

People walk the streets, streets that would have been a tropical wasteland if it weren't for them. Their feet take them to work, their home, with friends, shopping. 

These people I see don't mind their own business, they talk about other people, they criticize, they covet. They live for fame, vanity, and words of praise. They work to live, and tire for work, making their existence a disuse. They live in the system, a system given by the Boss, the system that everyone lives in. You work, talk, show off, and tire your whole life, but in the end we all die, and noting is appreciated.

The system blinds you, and you see me, sitting on the bus looking out the window, thinking that I'm avoiding you, getting away, but you have no idea what I see when I look through that transparent television.

Make art, visualize, ponder, venture, breathe curiosity. Then will the curtains open for you, and you too will see my transparent television.

-Sam Visu

Visitors.

These days stop by without notice. They think that they may come and go as they please and never even leave me any photos or memories. The worst part is that I let them. I gave these days the key to my house, so they don;t even ring the doorbell to say that they've arrived.

-Sam Visu

Stranger.

I had the strangest dream last night. Well now, the whole thing seems kind of muddy, but there are parts that I remember clearly. I must say though, that this is probably the best dream I've ever had.

So the whole thing started off in a plane. I didn't know anybody in there except for my parents and brothers. The plane landed at this mansion. We walked into the center of the mansion with all of the other people on the plane into this grand garden were there was some kind of ceremony. I said something to my mom ( I cannot remember what it was), them my mom asked the same thing to another lady (who was wearing victorian clothing like everyone else there),and she directed me to a room.
When I stepped into the room there were many doors. They all said something on them, but the only one that I remember was the one that said, "to hell". Curiosity took me, and I opened the door. The opening was black and white question marks floated inside of it. The door tried to suck me in it but I hurried to close the door before it took me. after that the room started turning red, so I ran out of the room.
I ran to a room down the hall where there were more ladies with victorian dresses, my mom was with them, but in her regular clothes. I told them that it might have been the wrong room, and they told me no, it was the right one, then they made some comment about me being fat and that I need to be skinnier. After that, another lady took me to the same room.
This time the room was completely tinted red, and the door that used to say, "to hell", now said, "to skinny". I opened the door one more time and I saw the same black space with white floating question marks trying to suck me in. This time the door shut on itself, and the room was getting smaller, so I ran out. When I went out, I was in the hallway, and when I looked out the window, I saw everybody getting in the plane again, so I ran out to get in the plane before it left me. I sat with my family, everyone silent.
Suddenly, we were at some island, or battleground, it looked like a mix of both. It seemed like we were on top of some fort. Everybody was sitting on the floor while there was this person talking to them (maybe telling a story). I remember looking around at all the people, and seeing a girl that I was suddenly attracted to. I tried to call my mom's attention, but she ignored me. When she finally reacted, she said something like, "no Sam, you were fucking some lesbian in that room weren't you? You're a lesbian aren't you? Lesbian!". "What are you talking about???!! I wasn't having sex with anyone!!", I replied. "Yes you were, don't play stupid," She wasn't going to believe me.
From there, I walked inside some other room, which didn't match the dilapidated fort that we were once in. The room was fancy, classic, and full of men in tuxedo's. I looked in the mirror, and I too, was a man. Another guy, in a moustache came up to me, and started talking about women, making me excited, telling me that there is a room of women in bed waiting for me. I jumped at the offer, and said that I'll be on my way over there. Then he gave me some tips to use with them. I accepted, then went off to the room.
The place was full of women, just like he told me. They were all half naked, playing pillow fight, then they started to play with me. I was still a man.
Then suddenly I was out in the dilapidated fort, then I turned around to see me, through a window, the man version of myself having sex with all of the women inside that room. From there, helicopters and planes started to shoot at us from above. The fort turned into a war zone and we ran to get out. The fort was collapsing and people started dying. The airplane was waiting for us, and when I got inside, my dream ended and I woke up.

Last Words of a Tomboy.

Tal vez sea suicidio, tal vez sea solo laca para el cabello.

I sprayed hairspray up my nose today. My friends dared me to do it, and I accepted the challenge, not because they just told me to do it, but because I dared another one of my friends to do the exact same. Before continuing with my story, let me tell you a little about myself.

My name is Sam. Not from Samuel, but from Samantha (yes, I’m a girl). I’m 18 years old, living in Mexico with my mom and sister (who both, incidentally, love acrylic nails, big hairdo’s, pink, etc). I bet you’re wondering what a girl is doing with these types of situations. The truth is that I don’t consider myself a girl (if a girl was defined on her skills to spread rumors and hang out with her girl friends  at the mall). Anyways, let’s get back to the story before you, my only witness, get bored  and decide to leave me.

If I didn’t do it, I would look like a cowardly hypocrite, I would lose the respect that took me so long to gain from the guys.  They cheered me on, telling me that I can.

“Vamos Sam, no pasa nada!”

I used them as mood builders.

“Solo hazlo, no lo piensas!”

So with that, I took the can between my trembling hands and held it up to my right nostril.

Close your eyes,
And just push down.
It's no big deal.
Fuck.

That hairspray must've had a thousand red ants inside waiting to charge at the next person who disturbed them. They tugged on my nose hairs and bit their way through the tunnels into my head. Ants marched throughout my head, making pit-stops to tickle my neurons with their microscopic legs. They played with my synapses until my memories part of my brain started to fade from existence.

There was nothing else to do but my hit myself continuously on the head until I didn't feel any more of these frantic ants, and even then none were kind enough to leave. Suddenly I felt ants in my throat, down to my chest, and not long after, they had made their stay at home throughout my whole body. Everything tingled for a while. They eat me from the inside, out. And now I ache.

Now I lay in the girls restroom, clutching on to this pen and paper that carry on what may be my last hours here. I beg of you not to show my body to my classmates, for they will feel horrid for the dare they cast upon me. And do not take me to my mother, for she will shriek at the ants gnawing at my flesh, slowly reaching my horizon. Please, just take me to my hole, that one that is 6 feet closer to hell, to see if I'll still reach heaven.


-Sam Visu

Tertulia

On Friday there's going to be a writers gathering.
My writing teacher signed me up to present two poems in front of an audience without my knowing!
I'm so scared, I've never done this before, and I'm even more scared of the chance that people won;t like my writing!
He told me that there are people there that write horrible, and that I'm better than I think, so that makes me feel better.
I hope everything turns out good.
So now I wonder which pieces I should present....

Empezar.

Black clouded my world.

A lingering spirit gently

pulled me in.

There was a lingering commotion

Beyond my state,

Floating further and further afar,

I suddenly heard her whisper.

It echoed throughout the Universe.

The first words that gave life.

Like a goddess, let there be light,

like the Winter breeze,

a voice that hands chills.

It was all just a dream.

"Sam, despiertate."

-Sam Visu



Today

Last slice.

I don't really know what to write tonight. I guess too many events happened today that made me feel like the last piece of pie that every one is reluctant to eat. Maybe that's a good thing, it might mean that people care for each other too much to deny them of that pie (or it might just be courtesy at times), but in turn, it also means that I will never be the piece that someone will die for. Nobody dies for pie.

"Who wants the last piece?"- Grace
"I'm full, no thanks,"- Tony
"You can have it, Pete,"- Mary
"I'm okay, you should eat up,"- Pete
"No, I think I'll just feed Bobby then. Everybody sure they don't want any more?"- Mary
Heads shook the room.
"Here baby, eat some of auntie's yummy pie!"- Mary
"Agghhhhh"- Bobby

I was thrown in the bin.

-Sam Visu