Last Words of a Tomboy.

Tal vez sea suicidio, tal vez sea solo laca para el cabello.

I sprayed hairspray up my nose today. My friends dared me to do it, and I accepted the challenge, not because they just told me to do it, but because I dared another one of my friends to do the exact same. Before continuing with my story, let me tell you a little about myself.

My name is Sam. Not from Samuel, but from Samantha (yes, I’m a girl). I’m 18 years old, living in Mexico with my mom and sister (who both, incidentally, love acrylic nails, big hairdo’s, pink, etc). I bet you’re wondering what a girl is doing with these types of situations. The truth is that I don’t consider myself a girl (if a girl was defined on her skills to spread rumors and hang out with her girl friends  at the mall). Anyways, let’s get back to the story before you, my only witness, get bored  and decide to leave me.

If I didn’t do it, I would look like a cowardly hypocrite, I would lose the respect that took me so long to gain from the guys.  They cheered me on, telling me that I can.

“Vamos Sam, no pasa nada!”

I used them as mood builders.

“Solo hazlo, no lo piensas!”

So with that, I took the can between my trembling hands and held it up to my right nostril.

Close your eyes,
And just push down.
It's no big deal.
Fuck.

That hairspray must've had a thousand red ants inside waiting to charge at the next person who disturbed them. They tugged on my nose hairs and bit their way through the tunnels into my head. Ants marched throughout my head, making pit-stops to tickle my neurons with their microscopic legs. They played with my synapses until my memories part of my brain started to fade from existence.

There was nothing else to do but my hit myself continuously on the head until I didn't feel any more of these frantic ants, and even then none were kind enough to leave. Suddenly I felt ants in my throat, down to my chest, and not long after, they had made their stay at home throughout my whole body. Everything tingled for a while. They eat me from the inside, out. And now I ache.

Now I lay in the girls restroom, clutching on to this pen and paper that carry on what may be my last hours here. I beg of you not to show my body to my classmates, for they will feel horrid for the dare they cast upon me. And do not take me to my mother, for she will shriek at the ants gnawing at my flesh, slowly reaching my horizon. Please, just take me to my hole, that one that is 6 feet closer to hell, to see if I'll still reach heaven.


-Sam Visu