Stranger.

I had the strangest dream last night. Well now, the whole thing seems kind of muddy, but there are parts that I remember clearly. I must say though, that this is probably the best dream I've ever had.

So the whole thing started off in a plane. I didn't know anybody in there except for my parents and brothers. The plane landed at this mansion. We walked into the center of the mansion with all of the other people on the plane into this grand garden were there was some kind of ceremony. I said something to my mom ( I cannot remember what it was), them my mom asked the same thing to another lady (who was wearing victorian clothing like everyone else there),and she directed me to a room.
When I stepped into the room there were many doors. They all said something on them, but the only one that I remember was the one that said, "to hell". Curiosity took me, and I opened the door. The opening was black and white question marks floated inside of it. The door tried to suck me in it but I hurried to close the door before it took me. after that the room started turning red, so I ran out of the room.
I ran to a room down the hall where there were more ladies with victorian dresses, my mom was with them, but in her regular clothes. I told them that it might have been the wrong room, and they told me no, it was the right one, then they made some comment about me being fat and that I need to be skinnier. After that, another lady took me to the same room.
This time the room was completely tinted red, and the door that used to say, "to hell", now said, "to skinny". I opened the door one more time and I saw the same black space with white floating question marks trying to suck me in. This time the door shut on itself, and the room was getting smaller, so I ran out. When I went out, I was in the hallway, and when I looked out the window, I saw everybody getting in the plane again, so I ran out to get in the plane before it left me. I sat with my family, everyone silent.
Suddenly, we were at some island, or battleground, it looked like a mix of both. It seemed like we were on top of some fort. Everybody was sitting on the floor while there was this person talking to them (maybe telling a story). I remember looking around at all the people, and seeing a girl that I was suddenly attracted to. I tried to call my mom's attention, but she ignored me. When she finally reacted, she said something like, "no Sam, you were fucking some lesbian in that room weren't you? You're a lesbian aren't you? Lesbian!". "What are you talking about???!! I wasn't having sex with anyone!!", I replied. "Yes you were, don't play stupid," She wasn't going to believe me.
From there, I walked inside some other room, which didn't match the dilapidated fort that we were once in. The room was fancy, classic, and full of men in tuxedo's. I looked in the mirror, and I too, was a man. Another guy, in a moustache came up to me, and started talking about women, making me excited, telling me that there is a room of women in bed waiting for me. I jumped at the offer, and said that I'll be on my way over there. Then he gave me some tips to use with them. I accepted, then went off to the room.
The place was full of women, just like he told me. They were all half naked, playing pillow fight, then they started to play with me. I was still a man.
Then suddenly I was out in the dilapidated fort, then I turned around to see me, through a window, the man version of myself having sex with all of the women inside that room. From there, helicopters and planes started to shoot at us from above. The fort turned into a war zone and we ran to get out. The fort was collapsing and people started dying. The airplane was waiting for us, and when I got inside, my dream ended and I woke up.

Last Words of a Tomboy.

Tal vez sea suicidio, tal vez sea solo laca para el cabello.

I sprayed hairspray up my nose today. My friends dared me to do it, and I accepted the challenge, not because they just told me to do it, but because I dared another one of my friends to do the exact same. Before continuing with my story, let me tell you a little about myself.

My name is Sam. Not from Samuel, but from Samantha (yes, I’m a girl). I’m 18 years old, living in Mexico with my mom and sister (who both, incidentally, love acrylic nails, big hairdo’s, pink, etc). I bet you’re wondering what a girl is doing with these types of situations. The truth is that I don’t consider myself a girl (if a girl was defined on her skills to spread rumors and hang out with her girl friends  at the mall). Anyways, let’s get back to the story before you, my only witness, get bored  and decide to leave me.

If I didn’t do it, I would look like a cowardly hypocrite, I would lose the respect that took me so long to gain from the guys.  They cheered me on, telling me that I can.

“Vamos Sam, no pasa nada!”

I used them as mood builders.

“Solo hazlo, no lo piensas!”

So with that, I took the can between my trembling hands and held it up to my right nostril.

Close your eyes,
And just push down.
It's no big deal.
Fuck.

That hairspray must've had a thousand red ants inside waiting to charge at the next person who disturbed them. They tugged on my nose hairs and bit their way through the tunnels into my head. Ants marched throughout my head, making pit-stops to tickle my neurons with their microscopic legs. They played with my synapses until my memories part of my brain started to fade from existence.

There was nothing else to do but my hit myself continuously on the head until I didn't feel any more of these frantic ants, and even then none were kind enough to leave. Suddenly I felt ants in my throat, down to my chest, and not long after, they had made their stay at home throughout my whole body. Everything tingled for a while. They eat me from the inside, out. And now I ache.

Now I lay in the girls restroom, clutching on to this pen and paper that carry on what may be my last hours here. I beg of you not to show my body to my classmates, for they will feel horrid for the dare they cast upon me. And do not take me to my mother, for she will shriek at the ants gnawing at my flesh, slowly reaching my horizon. Please, just take me to my hole, that one that is 6 feet closer to hell, to see if I'll still reach heaven.


-Sam Visu

Tertulia

On Friday there's going to be a writers gathering.
My writing teacher signed me up to present two poems in front of an audience without my knowing!
I'm so scared, I've never done this before, and I'm even more scared of the chance that people won;t like my writing!
He told me that there are people there that write horrible, and that I'm better than I think, so that makes me feel better.
I hope everything turns out good.
So now I wonder which pieces I should present....

Empezar.

Black clouded my world.

A lingering spirit gently

pulled me in.

There was a lingering commotion

Beyond my state,

Floating further and further afar,

I suddenly heard her whisper.

It echoed throughout the Universe.

The first words that gave life.

Like a goddess, let there be light,

like the Winter breeze,

a voice that hands chills.

It was all just a dream.

"Sam, despiertate."

-Sam Visu



Today

Last slice.

I don't really know what to write tonight. I guess too many events happened today that made me feel like the last piece of pie that every one is reluctant to eat. Maybe that's a good thing, it might mean that people care for each other too much to deny them of that pie (or it might just be courtesy at times), but in turn, it also means that I will never be the piece that someone will die for. Nobody dies for pie.

"Who wants the last piece?"- Grace
"I'm full, no thanks,"- Tony
"You can have it, Pete,"- Mary
"I'm okay, you should eat up,"- Pete
"No, I think I'll just feed Bobby then. Everybody sure they don't want any more?"- Mary
Heads shook the room.
"Here baby, eat some of auntie's yummy pie!"- Mary
"Agghhhhh"- Bobby

I was thrown in the bin.

-Sam Visu

Doctor.

My mom took me to the doctor's office today,
I just felt sick with a backache, and that was all.
The result of going was fatal.
She told me that I'm overweight,
That I also needed to go to a psychiatrist.

What else could she have said to send me back into my hole?
I was fine, the depression was going away.
My bulimia was gone.
A trip to the doctors office was all I needed to be shoved back in.
I thought I was going to be okay.
Reality is unloving.

-Visu

Fears.

A list of my fears:

                                           

To never reach my life goals.

                                                  Being abandoned.

                To be alone.

                                                           Monotonous days.

                                     Abuse.

                                                                                     Growing Old

                         Not changing the world.

                                                                      To not be able to express myself.

Fear itself.

                                Lonely Saturday nights.

            To be let down.

                                                         Waking up in the morning.

Not being loved back.
                                                                                  Staying overweight.

                                           To be a failure.

-Visu

50's event at Ummagumma Pub.

And they asked me to pose for them!

xD

I think I look alright though haha.

Tip.

These moments alone, I will never forget.
Letters with a tablespoon of coffee and cigarettes,
a teaspoon of distant jazz,
and a hint of unheard conversations.
Each bite is a fruitful desert,
And when all is gone, I once again anticipate rain.

Check please?

-Sam Visu

I want to paint today.

I hope I can anyways.

Gentle Lady, Do Not Sing




Gentle lady, do not sing 
Sad songs about the end of love; 
Lay aside sadness and sing 
How love that passes is enough. 

Sing about the long deep sleep 
Of lovers that are dead, and how 
In the grave all love shall sleep: 
Love is aweary now.


-James Joyce




I love this poem and the message it gives to us. 
Love is not entirely over, but you can remember it, and be thankful that it happened. 
Even after the event of love, it still lingers in your air.

Hula.

¿Cuántos giros necesito para retroceder al mundo grandotote de mi niñez?

Elegí la soledad, esa tristeza masoquista en la melancolía de la música. Sobre mi cama llorando letras. Nadie me entendió.

No me dejaron salir y disfrutar escalofríos y adrenalina del aire libre con mis compas, probando la pinche amarga ebriedad.

Esa persona de mis sueños me ignoró, y me disfracé de chica perfecta solo para que su cara se volteara a mi dirección.

Hice una maravilla en mi salón para que mis papás fueran felices conmigo. Para mí, sería mucho.

Camine por la tienda con mis papis por esos pasillos enormes llenas de cosas. Llore, y me tire por ese juguete ¡que quería! ¡Yo lo quería! Pero mis papis me dijeron que no. Nunca me hacen caso de nada.

Erase una vez, no me dejaron jugar con esto. Pero, aquí en mis manos tengo la imaginación, libertad, testarudez. No hare berrinche.
Y ya no cargo sobre mí la fuerza oscura que me detenga de lo que siento.
Como niña de luz del sol.

Jugare.
Girare.


-Sam Visu

Dainty.

Waltz.

As the melody played through the cold summer air
wasps stopped to watch the swooning spectacle.
They looked abroad and encountered a pleasant dance.
The way that this animal moved, unlike any creature
they have laid eyes on formerly.
Lurching back and forth, flying, like when the tide pulls with the moon.
Silver and red ribbons continue of this waltz.
Frame so fragile,
Movement so graceful,
Character so innocent.

-Visu

Progress.

Today is a Monday.
And, well, I'm finally realizing how important these years are for me. There are so many writing projects due by the final days of October that I have yet to finish!

To remind you, older Sam (of course you are reading this to remember what you were like), you are writing the school play, Jerome, and those two projects for writing class, the hula hoop and the small house for the museum. Then of course you are trying to tie together an idea for Nanowrimo, which starts in November.

Today is a Monday, and it seems like you are always waiting to late to begin.
Begin now.

(Hi older me!)

Watercolors dance on these pages as I ponder rigidly upon these words.
They seem to levetate above white, a newfound telekinesis.
Voices dawn, searching my head, critics.
I try to listen, but distraction wins me over and pulls me into the lighter forest.

-Visu

Fake.

Me das asco.

I took this picture in my room about a month ago, 

but it got lost somewhere between my homework 

and music files. I put the dream catcher above my bed very traditional-like.

 I took this frame in respect of dream catchers and the hope that they implant in our heads.

A story failed to end fatal.

We witnessed stars dance ablaze,
glistening lights as we lay upon the sprinkle-struck barley.
My head rested atop your broad chest,
feeling your enduring beat, shady skies sailed above us.
None foolish enough to flee,
thoughts of the other paraded our touched minds.
Months flew by, and the feeling failed to depart.
Weeks linger on, and your beat has yet to halt.
Innocent eyes capture my tainted soul.
Beautiful gestures hold me to your presence.
Your love is the sun shining through my sullen shades.
Nothing is stopping us.

-Visu

The Crier.

Singer in the night,

The stars reached out to her

to bestow their beauty.

Such lyrics hypnotize our ears,

following to the underbelly of our souls.

She speaks of la llorona,

but no one can her her sorrow,

A soft growing melody behind her

guides her steady growth.

And suddenly the people heard.

La llorona.

Llora

Llora

Lloraria.

-Visu

Boyfriends

Writing a poem for your loved one is always the hardest thing to do.
The right words are hard to find, as they crawl slowly but surely to the tip of your tongue.
I hope I can do this.
New post tomorrow with the job done.

Dep.

I fear waking up every morning.
The smell of breakfast makes me want to vomit.
Getting ready makes me want to go back to eternal slumber,
and leaving the house leaves me regret and feeling forced.

"I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" by Maya Angelou

The free bird leaps on the back of the win and floats downstream till the current ends and dips his wings in the orange sun rays and dares to claim the sky. But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage can seldom see through his bars of rage his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing. The caged bird sings with fearful trill of the things unknown but longed for still and is tune is heard on the distant hillfor the caged bird sings of freedom The free bird thinks of another breeze an the trade winds soft through the sighing trees and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn and he names the sky his own. But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing The caged bird sings with a fearful trill of things unknown but longed for still and his tune is heard on the distant hill for the caged bird sings of freedom.

Do dreams tell something about the future? I always wonder about this, and now, I have a more profound wonder of this. On July 9th, I wrote that I had a dream where half of my head is shaved, and I now have my head shaved. So, did I predict that this would happen?
I should start cataloging my dreams more often, looking for events that have to do with them.

No holding back now.

Today I have decided that because this is my blog, and I want to be selfish with it, then I am not going to hold back on anything that I want to write. This is SamEatSam uncensored form now on. I mean, it's not like anybody actually reads this! And with that new beginning, here's the latest photo taken of me by a fellow writer, Adan Vicario.

Teenagers.

Being the new girl, it's never an easy thing. People come say hi, they ask for your name and pretty much everything else about you. I've moved schools every year, so I would know when I tell you that it's a bittersweet experience.
All the boys want you and all the girls stare, there may be both love and jealousy in the air. It keeps getting better with all of the affection, and seems quite perfect with all of the attention. you will always be a favourite, especially if you're pretty, and on all of the other girls you'll seem to take pity. You'll morph into the popular one, and it takes about a year to have all that won.
First day of school, still at the same place, everybody knows you... until they see a new face. The new girl walks into the room, bright-eyed, and fresh-faced, she's the skinny type, tall, blonde, and great taste. All eyes fall on her, she looks like a beauty. I witness all jaws drop, how could this be happening to me?
The end has come.

-Visu

Long nights wind and twist upward into fulfilling dreams.

But like everything in this

dimension,

there is always an end.

At the climax of those long nights,

flowers may be planted, but likewise,

flowers may be crushed.

With every risky venture there can never be

an expected outcome, but

I promise you dear,

the outcome is the silhouetted

truth,

and what becomes of it, will reflect

om your relationship with this

dimension.

Don't fret, a rainbow will cast glory soon.

-Sam Visu

"when I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. i only think about how to solve the problem. But when the solution in not beautiful, I know it's wrong."

-Buckminster Fuller

Madrugadas.

Lucid nights seem to carry me on.

Unlocked doors

and

Street lights led you in.

Stairs leading to

Our fate

Were the anticipators of those

Lovely evenings,

And my bed is where

The most magical of events

Inhaled rose scented stories.

Two hearts beating near.

Two bodies making art, painting a mural.

Two voices singing in

The universal choir,

Two sounds fulfill the air, music to my ears.

This forbidden love was too big

or the both of us,

Music soon morfed to static

Once we turned the dial forward,

And there was no more room for

Trust.

-Sam Visu

What's new.

It's been some time since I've posted anything here, once again because of the difficulty to get access of the internet. We didn't get any internet into this house that we've recently moved into until yesterday, so there is a lot of catching up to do!

On Monday I made probably the biggest impulsive act that I have ever had. I was at my boyfriends tattoo studio, and his friend's girlfriend was there too, so we started talking about everything and anything. Then she started telling about the school that she goes to which is about 5 blocks away from the studio. She began to tell me all these marvelous things about it and how it is an arts school and everyone can choose the artistic career they chose once they enter 3rd semester (which in the United States is Junior year in high school). I was barely staring 3rd semester at another school, but there was no way that I was going to miss the opportunity of signing myself up at this new school.

So what I did was call my parents to ask if I could switch, and naturally, they said, "Hell no," but that wasn't going to stop me from chasing my dreams. I went to the school anyways to sign myself up, and one thing that I love about Mexico is that we don't need a signature from our parents to enroll in high school! I signed up, and handed them the starting fee, which was money that I was saving up for my next tattoo. They told me that I start the next day, which was Tuesday, and I accepted.

Well, my parents were furious, but they got over it now, and I'm going to the school of my choice to pursue my goal. (:

The message is: never let anyone or anything stand in your way of doing what you think is right, and if an opportunity stands before you, seize it because you may never see it again.

Dream last night #2

I dreamt again last night, and although it wasn't as lucid as I hoped it to be, I know I've had this dream before. In the dream, it seems as if I slept over at my grandmas house. As i walked down the hallway at her house, my grandparents were in the living room talking. They told me that it was my mother's birthday today and that there must be some reason to why she didnt want to come. So I grabbed my things and my best friend, Liz was outside. It seemed as if we were in Mexico, but it seemed way more like Europe. Anyways, I've had this place in my dreams before. The street floors were stones, the buildings were also from stone, and everything was very colonial. Me and Liz decided to hi-jack a trolley, and we were successful. But there was a man in a dark car telling us to pull over, so we came up with a plan : I was going to pull the trolley closer to the driver, and Liz was going to jump into his window and eat him. The plan was successful, and we kept rolling along until we randomely stoped in from of this deserted building.

Dream last night.

So I dreamt quite lucidly last night, well half of it was lucid.
The first dream I remember, was set in a classroom. I walked in the room looking stunning, and this boy that I've had a crush on (in real life) since 7th grade, Johnny, came up to me mesmerized and innocent-like and asked me sincerely to kiss him. I had to say no because I've liked him for a long time, and I didn't want to get attached because I knew he was a womanizer. I said, "I can't just kiss you right now. Show me you care", and he accepted the challenge and sadly walked away. While this whole thing was happening with johnny, there was background music, Breaking Even by The Script. As I walked on to my seat, another, more homely boy who has barely been with a girl and respects them more than anything came up to me and asked me for a kiss, and I guess all my consciousness flew out the window because this was still in the same classroom that Johnny asked me for a kiss. I said yes to this boy, and I kissed him, because I knew I wouldn't feel anything for him afterwards, and I felt a sort of pity and respect for him at the same time. This happened, and I walked out of the classroom as if I didn't need to go to class. Afterwards, I felt as if, maybe Johnny saw me kiss this other boy. I started to panic and look for Johnny to give some explanation or apology or reassurance;and with this sure enough, I fell for him a little more. I never found him.

The next dream didn't really have me in it. There are parts that I don't remember, but they can be filled in by things said in the other parts. So I guess there was this woman who did ballet. She had a child, a girl, who also did ballet. The woman fell in love with a famous ballet instructor, and they dated for a couple of months, until he got to know her daughter. He started to help out in the daughter's ballet classes, and discovered how great she was and could be, so he ignored the woman and started to take time on the girl. She was outraged and cried and screamed to the man, crying out that she only used him, while he took her daughter once again to practice for a recital, while the girl only just shed a tear and left with him, almost dragging her.

I wondered what these dreams could have meant, so I looked up key objects and subjects that were in these dreams.

First of all, there is a classroom:

To dream that you are in a classroom, indicates that you are learning an important life lesson. Alternatively, it symbolizes personal growth. You are learning something about yourself.

Then, there are classmates:

To see old classmates in your dream, indicate that you need to draw on your old associations with your former classmates to gain insight in some current relationship. It represents a past lesson that you have learned and is applicable in some aspect of your waking life now.

Then this self of courage:

To dream that you have great courage, indicates that you are willing to confront rejected aspects of your unconscious head on. You are about to come to a whole new understanding. The dream may be training you for what you need to do in your waking life.

Then there's the crush:

If you dream that somebody has a crush on you, then it represents you own sense of worthiness and esteem.

To dream about a former crush, refers to a particular period in your life and what you were feeling then. Perhaps a waking relationship is repeating the same pattern.

To dream that you have a crush on somebody, is a literal reflection of your attraction and fascination for that person. To see your crush in your dream, represents your current infatuation with him or her. If you find yourself thinking about him during the day, then it is not surprising that his image will appear in your dream during the night. If you dream of your crush frequently, then your dream maybe be telling you that it is time to let this person know how you feel, especially if you are dreaming of him or her in a good way. Only good things can happen from you telling your crush. Even if he or she is not interested, at least you can move on and stop wasting time on him or her.

The song:

To hear harmonious and soothing music in your dream, signifies prosperity and pleasure. You are expressing your emotions in a positive way. Music serves to heal the soul.

The kiss:

To dream of a kiss, denotes love, affection, tranquility, harmony, and contentment.

If you are kissing a close friend, then it represents your respect and adoration for your friend. You are seeking some intimate closeness that is lacking in some waking relationship. It may or may not signify a romantic interest for him or her.

Rejection/refusal:

To dream that you are refusing something, suggests that you are in denial about something. Consider what you are refusing. Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on "refuse" or trash. Is there some aspect or characteristic that you are rejecting?

To dream that you are rejecting something, indicates that there is some aspect of your life that you want to be rid of. It may be some failing situation. Alternatively, you are refusing to accept a situation that is being imposed and forced upon you

The regret afterwards:

To dream about regret, indicates that you are preoccupied with waking disappointments and dissatisfaction. These could be repressed or negative feelings about yourself. The feelings you have in your dream are usually reflective of what you are feeling in real life, but you may not be expressing them appropriately.

Looking for him:

To dream that you are searching for something, signifies the need to find something that is missing or needed in your life. The dream may be analogous to your search for love, spiritual enlightenment, peace or even a solution to a problem.

So now there is the second dream.

The subject of ballet:

To dream that you are watching a ballet, symbolizes balance, cooperation, and harmony.

To see or wear ballet slippers in your dream, represents your understanding of the principles of balance and grace. You carry yourself with much poise and get along well with others.

The couple was in love:

To see a couple in love or expressing love to each other, indicates success ahead for you.

Then there is the woman crying:

To see someone else crying in your dream, may be a projection of your own feelings onto someone else. If you do not cry in your waking life, then seeing someone else cry may be a little easier to deal with then seeing yourself cry.

These were people that I did not know:

To see people you don't know in your dream, denotes hidden aspects of yourself that you need to confront or acknowledge

Ballerinas:
To dream that you are a ballerina, suggests that you are moving through the obstacles of your life effortlessly. You feel unrestricted. It is also a symbol of innocence, frailty, and vulnerability. Alternatively, you may feel unable to attain and measure up to society's ideals of beauty.

The little girl:

To see children in your dream, signify an aspect of yourself and your childlike qualities. You may be retreating back to a childlike state and longing for the past. You are trying to still satisfy repressed desires and unfulfilled hopes. Perhaps there is something that you need to see grow and nurture. Take some time off and cater to the inner child within. Alternatively, the dream may be highlighting your innocence, purity, simplicity, and carefree attitude.

To dream that you are watching children but they do not know you are there, is a metaphor for some hidden knowledge or some latent talent which you have failed to recognize.

Overall, I'm satisfied with my results, so now it's time to fix some aspects in my life. (:

I'm deciding to write something new today.
It's something different, so I hope this all goes well!
I'm doing a novel on a boy who moves to a new town by leaving his dad and school.

It's about his adventure to find his calling, something that all of us, if not most of us are looking for.

Let's go Abel(:

Cliches.

Cliches, they are all around us, whether it's no billboards, cereal boxes, or the nearest fast-food restaurant. You hear them all day

The Riddle of Epicurus

If God is willing to prevent evil, but is not able to

Then He is not omnipotent.

If He is able, but not willing

Then He is malevolent.

If He is both able and willing

Then whence cometh evil?

If He is neither able nor willing

Then why call Him God?

Missing without leave.

Since I've been gone, I haven't posted any pictures that I've taken since then. Here's a little something to fill you in. I will take many more as in a few days I will get my new cameras. Yes, I love the light leaks effect that cameras give hahah.

This is no once upon a time, this is the near future.

There will be a boy, his name will be Jerome, and he will be the saviour to the freedom of our children's children.

The skies will warp brilliant sage, and crows will tower amongst turtle doves to caress the clouds while they clash to remain afloat above our heads.

Ants will form stronger unions and bee's will come out of hiding.

All while Jerome and his army of millions overthrow the assumed power of the New World Order. Make our children strong, you never know which free soul will be our Jerome.

-Sam Visu

The view right now

So I'm sitting outside feeling inspired, but nothing comes to mind. Great.

Here's the view. It's cloudy, and sprinkling, which is great because it's usually hotter than your step sister out here.

I had a dream that half of my head was shaved. What would that mean?

New.

I need to update what I look like at the moment haha. Here you go:

New attic room

My family is now moving to mexico with me, so that means that I no longer have to live in that apartment (which I actually enjoy more than living with my parents), so now I have to live with my family in the house that they've rented. The only upside to this is having my own room to myself. No, not my bedroom, but this house has an attic, and I intend to make that space my own.

Things that I need:

• a huge rug
• empty wine bottles
• a small table
• two chairs
• two sofas
• lots of pillows
• empty soda bottles
• flowers
• old photos
• plastic flowers
• speakers
• creative lights
• tea set
• bookshelf
• a bigger hookah

I know, it seems like a lot to need, but, i already have half of it now, and, I need this to get my creative rivers downstream. Hope to have a successful room!

Time Passes By.

I have just completed a year living in Mexico alone, and I absolutely loved the experience. I got to meet so many new people and got to get to know them and their lives. There are three people that really captured my thoughts.

One, is a girl; she seemed so happy and bubbly at first (it actually seemed annoying at first) but as time went by, I got to know her and her past life with an eating disorder. She still struggles with it, but for the most part it seems that she has decided to follow the healthy eating path. I can see so much in her eyes, the pain, excitement, confusion, aloofness; while others think of her just as extremely ditzy and 'blonde'. I decided during the second semester of school to leave a nice note and some sort of snack to brighten her every day at her desk. I will keep a close eye on her, as I am still worried about her sanity.

Another person who opened my eyes a little more, is one who I never thought would. I first saw him as someone that I would have liked to flirt with on a small scale, but, as I got to know him, my opinion changed. I no longer wanted to flirt or whatever I was thinking, I wanted to know his story, his opinions, I wanted to open his caged mind and let the ghosts of his past haunt my thoughts. Eventually, I got there, and I learned so much more than I hoped. Like-wise, he wanted the same from me, and he also achieved what no other could before, he took this cage of a head and let the birds free. He is now my best friend and we know each other more than anyone knows us.

The last person that I met is an artist, someone I look up to. He looks up to me too, and we rely on each other for ideas, stories, music, etc. He can look into anyone's soul and know if they are any good. He knows a free person when he meets them, and the pricks when he sees them. He is the most intelligent, free, creative, knowing person I know. And I look forward to doing some damage and improvement to this world with him. Together, we can change things for the better and rid the monotone people.

I hope to meet more people like this as my time here continues.

Too Long

Crap, it's been too long since I've written here, I guess Tumblr has taken most of my time, but I want to continue writing here instead. In my next post I will fill you in on what's been new in my life.